I thought I knew almost everything there was to know about “down there” but that is not the case at all. The Rotaract Club is therefore to be thanked for inviting me to participate and maybe even praised for bringing this week-end’s production of The Vagina Monologues to the Anguillian stage.

The action, well, the monologues will be performed on Friday and Saturday nights at the Campus B auditorium of the Albena Lake-Hodge Comprehensive School and in reflection of ours still being a conservative society, only persons aged 18 years and over are invited to attend. This may well be in recognition of that fact that a lot of Anguillian parents are not yet prepared, and some do not even know how, to discuss human sexuality with their children. Some, unlike those of us who will be presenting the monologues, are still very uncomfortable, indeed embarrassed, to talk about their own sexuality as matters involving body parts below the waist are still thought of as being in the realm of rudeness, nastiness, or simply matters that involve action but not words, well except the words spoken during the action.

One of my new discoveries made just this week as we sought out props for the production is that Anguilla has a sex shop. I am sure they do not call it that because to do so would be most un-Anguillian. I’m sure it has one of those euphemisms like, Adult Playthings but I really do not know what I’m talking about as I have not visited it yet, and I never imagined that my first visit to such an outlet would be right here in the land of voting, boating, peas and corn. But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t go check it out because the me writing this is the woman who, just like the Virginia Slims ad, has come a long way baby and maybe there is still a long way to go. The sex life of Anguilla seems always to be more than one could imagine and I’ve lived long enough to realise that in the realm of human sexuality there seems to be no boundaries placed on imagination. This is all well and good if two consenting adults agree on the details ahead of time or with that same care about mutual consent agree to explore and see where the discovery takes them. This requires both discipline and respect, qualities that are often sadly lacking behind closed doors. It seems though that some of those doors are being opened and I think the Vagina Monologues will be one such opening door act.

I firmly believe that the human structure is to be revered and celebrated and maintained in peak condition. Though I have not done so well in the maintenance department, I am constantly and delightfully surprised to note that this does not get in the way of maximum enjoyment when it matters most. This is not just about sex. It is about the healing therapy of a good belly laugh; the deep breath you take when you step off LIAT or whatever airline when that welcome home breeze hits you as you approach the Arrivals Lounge at Wallblake. It is the feeling I get (don’t know about you), when I pick and shell pigeon peas and the worms are either few or absent. It is the sweet feeling in my gut when I round the corner and get that breath-taking view of Island Harbour Bay and that wanting to write poetry feeling about the beauty of the rocks at Crocus Bay. But it is also about sexuality – the whole gamut. Let me take that back because the whole gamut also includes abuse and abuse that sometimes involves children. That is a subject for more than talk but for preventive action, especially if the perception is true, that in Anguilla, everyone is having sex with everyone else. Some of us are definitely missing a whole lot of the action and some, like me, will open my mouth and nowhere else. I am still the romantic who thinks of sex and love as inextricably linked.

The Vagina Monologues came out of a set of interviews with 200 women of all colours, classes, types and descriptions in the USA and I really want to invite you to share in the expression of humour and serious contemplation all developed around that part of the female anatomy that has so many names and sometimes none at all. I say I’ve come a long way because I grew up in a household where when toddlers were being thought body parts, after the navel/belly button, the next part taught was the knee or maybe the thighs. I also pause to recognise the efforts of former Guidance Counsellor, Marilyn Hodge, whose Parenting Education/Orientation programme for the parents of students entering Campus B included my offerings of facilitation to assist parents in feeling comfortable discussing sexuality with their children. Very often, I used my personal experiences of growing up to help them stop giggling, relax and realise they are not all that strange, simply bound by a culture in which sexual talk in a classroom setting, is still a no-no for many. Many adults, that is, as I can remember having to hide my own surprise many, many years ago, when students in Form 1 at ALHCS asked in innocence if a person could become pregnant by having anal sex. I did not know that they knew people had anal sex. Most recently, I was brought into a conversation about oral sex by way of a complaint from a female student at a primary school. I really believe that there is no innocence left but that education and openness are critical elements in the prevention of abuse.

It is therefore more than for our own empowerment as women that we learn how to name and talk about and get to know our sexual parts comfortably. I would not, for example, say the “N” word if I wanted to talk about the nose. This is where I hope we can all make strides and the Vagina Monologues may really help us to reach such a milestone. Involvement in the production requires a certain degree of daring because there will be some in the audience who will go away wondering forever after if we were really acting or if some of us are in real life, the characters whose experiences are acted out in the monologues. Women in particular are usually deemed indecent or worse when we express sexual pleasure and this is a notion I would like to see disappear and disappear quickly. Last week, as I sold tickets for the production, a number of men responded to suggest that it would be an event for women. However, they were honest enough to admit when I challenged them, that men think of the vagina far more than owners of vaginas do. One of the most damaging aspects of women failing to pay attention to our sexual parts is that sexual and reproductive health are sometimes compromised by our own discomfort with these God-given assets.

I do not know if I will ever have the opportunity to meet the author of the monologues as I want to ask her why they were not named the Vulva Monologues instead but, correct though it may be, nobody ever talks about the vulva which is the part that can easily be seen. Only one of the monologues names the vulva. That other part is really inside and to see it one has to get down and… I would tell you more but that would spoil it. Come out on Friday and Saturday and we’ll tell you all about it then.

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