There is no doubt that the events or happenings which transpired over the past month have left many in a state of disappointment. Any time our hopes are not realized, or our expectations or desires are not fulfilled, we feel some level of disappointment or sadness. When things don't turn out the way we hoped, it may seem like the end of the world but it need not be so. It is how we deal with it that will make the difference.

Disappointment describes a feeling of dissatisfaction or anguish, which is experienced when we are torn apart from an expected appointment or outcome. While we may not be able to avoid disappointment, we do not have to be defeated by it. The negativity surrounding disappointment exists more in our minds than in reality. It is not the event, but our interpretation of it that causes pain.
The fact is - disappointment is a part of life that every person will have to deal with at one time or another. Disappointment comes in all sizes, doesn't it? Our children disappoint us; our spouse/partner disappoints us; our family members disappoint us, our friends disappoint us; our constituents disappoint us; we even disappoint ourselves. Left unchecked, these disappointments build up and resentment or bitterness sets in.
How you think about the situation will have a lot to do with the feelings you have and how you choose to act or behave. Research indicates that your happiness as an adult might depend on how well you learned as a child to:
1. Deal with disappointment or adversity.
2. Create and sustain joy.
If you are one of the many adults who did not learn how to do either of these things very well, as you were growing up, now is your chance to master these two skills. With some commitment and effort, there are things you can do to make a difference in your level of happiness.
In every negative situation, you have a choice of focusing on the:
 Terrible things about it, and how it will make your life harder or less satisfying, or
 Opportunities this situation may offer you and how you can use your strengths to move forward.
The key to happiness is realizing that it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you choose to respond. What you allow yourself to think can either make things better or worse. Your internal dialogue positively impacts your attitude. So, when you are feeling stressed, irritable, anxious or sad, there are three key questions you need to ask yourself:
1. What opportunities are there for me in this situation?
2. What resources do I have to help me?
3. How will I use my resources?
However, before you can answer these questions, you have to have self-awareness. This means you are able to notice what you are feeling and be able to acknowledge the feeling. You own the feeling by naming it. Think of the feeling as a cue that you need to notice and acknowledge what you are telling yourself. You might be saying something like, "I can't do this," or "I need help with this." Be curious about what you discover you are telling yourself without reacting emotionally to it.
Now is the time to ask the first question listed above - What opportunities are there for me in this situation? You might be surprised by the answers you get.
Sometimes the opportunities are not ones you would have chosen for yourself at that particular time. However, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to stop and discover what opportunities there are for you in the situation.
After you have discovered some opportunities, the next step is to ask the second question - What resources do I have to help me? Identify your internal and external resources that will help you embrace the opportunities. Internal resources may be your intelligence, sense of humour, the experience you bring, perseverance, courage, etc. External resources may be family, friends, someone you respect, money, time, etc.
The final step is to ask the third question - How will I use my resources? Determine how your resources will help you move forward. When you get to this last step, you might want to talk with a trusted advisor or friend to help you know what to do if the situation is complex. The important thing is to come up with a plan that is doable and easy to follow through over time.
These three steps will help you successfully handle major and smaller disappointments or adversities. The next time you notice yourself feeling disappointment or facing an adversity, ask the three key questions. Determine the steps you will follow and the time frame you need to be successful as you embrace the opportunities ahead.
Another alternative is to ask these questions: What should I do when things do not turn out or happen as I supposed? What can I do when disappointed by circumstances?
Here are three things to remember.
First, God is sovereign. God is not controlled by circumstances. As a matter of fact, God controls all circumstances. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we forget that God is in control of our circumstances! The outcome is always in God's hands! Disappointment comes when we assume authority, privilege or rights that are not ours. Rejection often comes when we get ahead of God or go beyond our God given place in these areas.
Second, God has a plan and purpose for our lives.
Psalm 37:23 tells us that the steps of a good man are "ordered by the Lord." God is in control of all circumstances and events, and whatever disappointment you may suffer is all part of God's plan. Maybe He is trying to teach you patience, or humility; or maybe He has something better or different planned for you.
Third, our view of things is often different from God's. We are shortsighted. God is farsighted! Our perspective is often different from God's. Our disappointments are actually God's appointments to accomplish His will and purpose in our lives! We must seek to see God's plan and hand in our circumstances and disappointments. When we can't see God's hand, we must trust His heart!
Remember: When disappointments come your way, you have the power to choose a positive attitude over a negative one. Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

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